Welcome to Module #2!

 

              

 

    Self Talk

 Inner Voice = Core of self

 

 

 

 

So are you a cat or a lion on the inside? Hmmm… don’t worry, by the time we get finished with you that inner Lion will be roaring and ready for more in life. When we talk about the inner voice, not everyone truly grasps this concept. It can be correlated with our positive thinking and yes, this is a factor. Positive thinking is so important, but what is stronger is our inner voice. Our inner voice is in our soul, which is our ‘well’ of emotions that make us human.

 

"Our inner voice is the voice of our self-esteem" ~ Merna

            The inner voice is our inner core. It is where all of our love, justifications, fears, sadness, hurt, pain, loss, hope, or lack of hope and so on lives. Our conditioned thoughts of life, relationships, money, hope, and faith in the world start here. It is not about right or wrong, but rather realizing what our core is truly doing for us or holding us back from. It isn’t just the logical thinking that is at the forefront to consider, we must look at the ‘whole’ of self.

 

 Everyone has an inner voice and many do not realize how important the need to understand this part of self is. Is the ‘core of all our hopes and dreams’? Yes, it is! Our self-worth lives here too and to strengthen all of it we must start here at the core. As our inner voice/self-worth/core of self strengthens. It is like ripples in a pond…. Our happiness and strengths flows out to each other area of life. The relationship with self is the most important relationship in life and it affects all others. If this one is not strong, every area of your life will suffer.

 

A few emotions we live with……

 

IE: Self-love, love for others, hate, Fear, justification, anger, frustration, annoyance, irritation, lackluster, sadness, regret, and many more. Without a strong inner core, our life will take on many of these negative faces.

 

Since our inner voice does not always have that loud very specific set of ‘words’, lets use examples of what it is.

 

·      I am so busy with so much to do and never get it all done.

·      I am still broke. I will never buy a new car

·      My clothes will always be tight since I am just lazy after work

·      Having money changes people and it isn’t always good

·      I wonder why Mary hasn’t called me back, did I do something wrong?

·      I love smoking and don’t see myself ever actually quitting once and for all

·      I always have this ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ feeling, but don’t know why

·      Of course, I won’t have my dream career as a marine biologist, look where I live!

·      I will always be struggling with money

·      That is foolish to think I could ever be happier. My parents were not. This is reality.

·      I hate being tired

·      Why do others have more fun in life? I don’t understand it! I must not deserve it.

·      Others are luckier than me

·      I will never lose weight, so I might as well just accept it

·      I never have motivation. I guess I am one of those unlucky people

·      This is as good as it gets.

·      I hate being single…I am the last one I know who is single!

·      Take out a blank notebook and start writing some of your own

 

This list is endless of the ideas we could come up with. We all have an inner voice and it may not be perfect or even close to perfect. However, to start making changes we must realize what is brewing inside of us today! Often, we have lived so many years with a ‘voice’ that we do not know any different. We justify it because others we hang out around with say the same things. They think the same way, so we believe this is as good as it gets….But, it can get better!

 

 

 

 

To truly start making changes in life we all ask, “Where do I even start?” This is a great question with some powerful answers. When we are overwhelmed with life we don’t even know where step one is.

 

The answer: The core of self.

 

All the answers lie within you today. The power of self-motivation is already in your possession, we may just have some housecleaning to do to find it again! Once we find it, the engine will start revving on its own. We just need to find the best tools to clean it up and maintain it. What this means in coaching terms is awareness, healing work, and changing old habits to better and newer ones for life! Have you ever worked with a coach or thought of hiring one?  Coaching is the quickest way to making change in life! Or we have a very popular alternative. Rock my World!™ Self-coaching Program

 

 

 

How we do this is - self-awareness and learning what statements are brewing and the feelings that we possess and live in daily. I had a coaching client who did not realize until she started coaching that she has been stuck in sadness for many years. Not depressed, but sadness of a favorite job ending, ailing grandparents, pets, and her fathers health issues. She was in her early 30s and she got a wake up call when she read the “I can’t shake the Sadness” from the eHelp™ library = independent study coaching assignment. I assign this one often since it is about healing and putting harmony back into your life, slowly day by day.

 

We forget as grown ups that what is really happening in our life does make its ‘mark’ on us and adds up over time. We just think since they were not all tragic events, it should not matter, and we believe we file it away or just simple move on… so we think. What we are really doing is adding it inside our huge backpack we are carrying on our backs daily. The more unresolved moments in life, we store in this backpack. Over time, imagine how burdensome this would be carrying it daily? These feelings translate into putting ourselves down, doubting self and downright demeaning ourselves, often daily!

 

Examples of an inner voice:

·      Yeah, everyone knows that I am happy being fat. I love to cook!

·      I know I am an idiot. No just kidding! Hahaha

·      I love making fun of happy people No, just kidding… [envy of a happier life]

·      I am a nothing without my job. Now what?

·      I keep gaining weight, but I still live in that stupid kitchen

·      My heart is so heavy and hurt. I am sick of being so weak!

·      Why can’t I just get over this like everyone else does.

 

Some people get a little nervous or scared when they realize what their inner voice is and how downright awful it can be. This is very normal and yes, it can be changed. The inner voice is something very close to my heart and I learned about mine at a young age and the hard way, which is where my workbook Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you! Came from. We are H*U*M*A*N….this means we have many interesting layers to us. Always remember this and that you are not alone here by any means.

 

 

 

 

I had another client who continually put herself down, and followed it with a fast ‘just kidding’. This shows me her self-worth needs some healing first, then strengthening. She isn’t alone by far as it is much easier to joke about ourselves then feel the painful feelings. Now, this isn’t a job to point out in others lives at all. This course is focusing on your part and understanding others. This module we are talking about Self-Talk and how it is the beginning of changes in all your relationships, by focusing on you.

 

Ask yourself a few questions about what you hear daily going on inside of you. Are you kind, caring, and loving as you would be to a friend? Would you talk to your friends that way? (I can hear that horrified NO Way!) Okkkkk….

 

Then why are we doing this to self? Well, congrats today is your day to make a huge change in direction because of awareness. Many of us have lived with this voice far too long and simply use to it and believing it really doesn’t matter. It is key in your self-worth!

 

 

 

 

Module #2

Food for Thought & Activation

 

You will use the thought process we have taught you here and activate your skills, knowledge, and more.......

Grab that blank journal and start writing...........

1. State in your own words how your own self-worth may be lacking in life and examples of ‘signs’ of this issue with your inner voice or outer voice or actions.
   

2. Write 10 sentences of ‘inner voice’ words you use yourself daily. Listen to your outside life this week and pay special attention to what you hear others ‘jokingly’ say… We must be strong within our self to learn and grow as deserve the strongest inner strength and voice. 
   

3. In response to #2, write 10 ‘counter’ or a more positive inner voice statements to replace the ones in #2. Say it better! It will take tooting your own horn here, so go for it!

 

 

 

Module #2 Simulation

Take out your blank journal and activate what you have

learned with these questions. 

 

 

1. Write two full paragraphs minimum on self-worth, inner voice, and the relationship with self.

 

2. Create a plan to change your self-talk and keep this train moving forward and not just for the moment. Truly, the better we treat ourselves, the better life will feel. Write out an Execution Plan on how you will incorporate keeping self-talk awareness at the forefront of your life. (Pocket of Pearls workbook can help you here with 30 days of exercises too!) Journaling will help too.

 

3. Take #2 of the discussion questions and read them aloud with the old way of talking and challenging yourself to make it better. Stating them aloud can make all the difference in the world. ( you may use your answers in #3- This is a verbal exercise)

 

Do this even if it feels silly!
Remember, exceptional starts with silly.

 

You did very well with this module and we are going strong. Take a break and take care of you! You have a break on role-plays this week, so use this time for some deep self-reflection.

I will see you in Module #3!

 

Hope & Peace,

Merna

Super Success Coach & Trainer

   

 

       Resources

Cox, F. D. (2006). Human Intimacy: Marriage, the Family, and its Meaning. New York: Thomson.

 

Franken, R. E. (2007). Human Motivation. New York: Thomson.

 

 

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