Men and Intimacy: Real Talk, Real Answers
by Therez Fleetwood
There are countless books on men and relationships that analyze and interpret men’s feelings about intimacy from a clinical or therapeutic approach. However, there are very few books that actually highlight men’s points of view on this topic in an uncut, complete, raw and emotional way. Author, Therez Fleetwood, explores the complexities of relationships through the minds of men who give real, no holds barred answers to the questions that women want to ask.
There are many women who feel disconnected from their partner and desire to create a deeper bond. This book is for those who are seeking to understand why men do the things they do when it comes to intimacy-related acts. Oftentimes, women spend countless hours asking other women for advice on their relationships when they should be going directly to the source. Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers is the source. What you will discover is what men really think about intimacy, women, relationships, sex, love, cheating, and pornography.
As ‘Gordon’ the Behavioral Therapist stated in “Men’s Last Words,” “I think the book project is necessary. These issues are real. They are not discussed, but they are prevalent and I think anything that provides a porthole, particularly for men of color, to express themselves, is freeing in and of itself. I find that other races have a platform to express themselves whereas men of color do not and the family nucleus is suffering as a result thereof.”
Over fifty men, between the ages of thirty and sixty, share their voices and their viewpoints to offer us untapped information in which most of them have never openly revealed before. The men interviewed range in professions from actors to ministers, to newscaster and ex-marines, and almost any profession in between. The questions asked in this book are probing and the answers are direct. Whether you are married or single, female or male, this book will open up a pathway to conversation and exploration.
In Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers you will learn: Do men really want intimacy? What do men find sexy in a woman? Do men get bored with sex? Why do men cheat? What are the most important things to men in a relationship? This book explores what type of women are men really looking for and much MORE!
This book was not written to point fingers or blame men in any way. It was written to allow men to be fully self-expressed. It will also help men find their voice of self-expression as they read and connect with the different answers provided by this diverse group whose statements may resemble their own. My hope with Men and Intimacy, Real Talk, Real Answers is that couples use these questions as a guide to help discover intimacy within each other through honest conversations and begin their journeys of creating intimacy together.
About Therez Fleetwood, Author
www.menandintimacy.com
For the past 25 years, Therez Fleetwood has been catering to brides and grooms around the world with the Therez Fleetwood Bridal Collection. Working with couples has provided her an abundance of information, conversation, and discovery. Therez has been a guest on several television shows including the Today Show, Good Day New York and the Dallas Morning News. She has also worked as a life coach in the field of self-expression and leadership and is the former owner of Therez’s Playhouse, which provided couples with ways to rekindle the romance, intimacy, and bliss in their relationships. She is also the author of the national best-seller, The Afrocentric Bride, A Style Guide.
Read the Book Reviews for Men and Intimacy
Great insight to how men think about relationships.
“This book gave a great insight to how men feel and think about relationships from a man’s point of view. It felt like reading parts of a man’s diary of his relationships. Very entertaining and insightful”. - Darnell Smith
This Book is a Great Personal Investment!
“Men and Intimacy is unlike most books about male/female relationships. You hear from a variety of men some of whom (types) we all know personally, who may or may no be honest with us about how they really feel about women and intimacy. Some of the responses made me laugh; some responses made me angry; and some gave me hope and confirmed to me that there are a lot of good men out here… still available. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Lots of questions we, as women, don’t or can’t ask men and can expect a truly honest answer. Here you feel as though you’re getting it. What I got from this book is so much more than the small investment I made. Buy it for yourself. Buy it for your girlfriends, daughters, moms, and sisters for you’ll want to keep your copy close by and refer to it often”. - R. Willis
Sneak Peek Inside Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers.
What Is Intimacy to Men? – Page 10
Intimacy to me is when the mind, body, spirit, and soul of two individuals collide on an emotional level. I’ve been intimate and I did not have a connection. I was close to someone but I did not have an emotional connection and I’ve been close to women and I haven’t had a spiritual connection. I feel when I am truly intimate and when our energies collide in such a way where we are desiring to go to the same place, and that’s just not the climax but the journey to it, then a lot of things are happening. Being a minister and a prophet, I believe that when we have sex or when we become intimate, our spirits become entangled. – GORDON
Men Feel Love Too – Page 18
For me, the times I was in love, it felt like a pain in my heart. The type of pain I would feel if I was losing that person… it was almost like a mini heart attack. It is like missing that person and feeling as though the blood stopped flowing to my heart or something, it’s a serious pain. I can’t fake it. The times that I had been in love that pain had physically happened to me because I felt it in my heart. – OMARI
Men and Communication – Page 45
I don’t always communicate my needs because I don’t want to be needy. My appearing not to be needy I think goes back to the way I was raised where the man is supposed to be taking care of everything. I would prefer to be giving more than I am receiving. Giving more love then receiving it, is just something I grew up with. – GIANNI
Can Men Be Loyal? – Page 90
The way a woman keeps a man is to stroke his ego, affirm his strengths and be complimentary… that’s all the lion wants to hear. As the king of the castle, I want to know that I’m doing a decent job being a provider and taking care of her needs. – MAURICE
Can Women Strengthen Men? – Page 101
Oh yeah! My wife made me stronger as a man. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be where I am right now because I was out being a man hoe and not focusing on my future. I was just focusing on having fun. I was ready to settle down and I found someone who was compatible for me. – DORIAN
The Pain Men Feel After a Breakup – Page 111
Yes, I’ve been in love where I was head over heels about her and could not think about anyone else but that person. When we broke up it was one of the most miserable feelings in my life actually. It made me sick. It made me very depressed. It even made me have fleeting thoughts of –“if I were not alive anymore it would be better”. I was feeling this way for about 3-4 months but that lingering feeling, to a smaller degree, has stayed with me for almost my entire life. –D. NICE
Why Men Watch Porn – Page 139
Yes, of course I watch porn! My mind is constantly thinking about sex. It’s like stepping out into the sun and feeling the sun’s rays on you. It’s the same thing with sex for a guy. It’s like we’re sitting around and we say “hey, I want to go outside for a minute”. – MALCOLM
Do Men Get Bored With Sex? – Page 153
Do I get bored with sex? No. Do I get bored with sex with one person… hell yeah! But it doesn’t have to be. I wouldn’t get bored with sex with the same person if she would be more involved and if she wanted to take it to the next level and be creative. My sex life now is almost null and void but whenever I have sex, it’s me performing all the acts and she just lays there. I feel like I’m a charity case. Like she wears a watch and sets a timer and say “I’ll give you three minutes”. I do what I do because I don’t get it. I got five minutes, so it might be the only five minutes that I get for the next few months so I say “fuck it!” It isn’t going to be great but at least I get some. – TRAVIS
READ MORE SNIPPETS HERE
http://menandintimacy.com/sneak-peak/
Purchase Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers
What Men really feel about Love, Relationships, Women, Sex and MORE!
https://www.amazon.com/Men-Intimacy-Real-Talk-Answers/dp/0996832505
Intimate Conversation with Therez Fleetwood
Therez Fleetwood launched her first company under the label of PheZula Collection, dressing celebrity clients such as Angela Bassett, Vanessa Williams, Yolanda Adams, Kim Coles and Queen Latifah as well as gift designer for Avon Products. She designed the only Kente cloth costumes worn by Mickey and Minnie Mouse at Disney World. She is also the author of the national bestseller, The Afrocentric Bride, A Style Guide and the newly released true-life sensation, Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers. (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017DV42KW)
For the past twenty-five years, Therez has been catering to brides and grooms around the world and it is her experience in working with couples that has provided her the abundance of information to launch this platform of conversation and discovery. Therez has been a guest on several television shows including the Today Show, Good Day New York and the Dallas Morning News and her work has been on display at the City Museum of New York and Fashion Institute of Technology. Therez has also worked as a life coach in the field of self-expression and leadership and is the former owner of Therez’s Playhouse, which provided couples with ways to rekindle the romance, intimacy and bliss in their relationships.
BPM: Tell us about your most recent work. Is this book available on Nook and Kindle?
In my new book I explore the complexities of relationships through the minds of men who give real, no holds barred answers to the questions that women want to ask. Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers provides insight into the way men think. The statements presented in this book are uncut, complete, raw and emotional.
Over fifty men, between the ages of thirty and sixty, answer intimate questions pertaining to women, relationships, sex, love, cheating, and pornography. The men share their voices and their viewpoints to offer us untapped information in which most of them have never openly revealed before. This book is for women seeking to understand why men do the things they do when it comes to intimacy-related acts. It will help men find their voice of self-expression as they read and connect with the different answers provided by this diverse group whose statements may resemble their own. Yes, the book is available on Kindle.
BPM: What inspired you to sit down and actually start writing Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers? Why now?
After my divorce, I began my own personal journey of self-discovery and wanting to create more intimacy in my life. I understood that in order to create intimacy, I had to first become intimate with myself. I had to become courageously vulnerable and accept all parts of myself, even those that I disliked or that made me feel uncomfortable, ashamed, and exposed. I also understood that in order to have more meaningful connections with a man, I would need to go below the surface of my emotions and connect in more intimate ways - mentally, physically and spiritually.
BPM: Where did your book idea come from?
On my journey of self-discovery, I came across a YouTube video of Iyanla Vanzant talking to a group of men and the topic of intimacy came up. One man said, “Wait a minute Iyanla, men and women think about intimacy in completely different ways. Men think intimacy is sex.” After hearing this statement, I began to wonder if all men think intimacy only consisted of sex? Not only did I want to know how men felt about love and intimacy, but I also wanted to know how they felt about relationships, communication, and sex.
BPM: What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
What I enjoyed about writing this book was interviewing the men. who have trusted me with sharing their voices and who took a stand in providing women with a closer look at how they think and what they really want in relationships. Some men struggled with answering the questions, while others relished in the opportunity to speak and have their voices heard. Then there were those who were extremely self-expressed under the guise of anonymity.
BPM: Share one specific point in your book that resonated with your present situation or journey.
What resonated most with me is the understanding how essential clear communication is to create an intimate and lasting union. Real intimacy requires a deep level of communication between partners. It is being clear about our thoughts and feelings and not being afraid to tell the truth about them. It’s an energy that keeps relationships alive and our thoughts and feelings flowing. So often we think, what if I reveal my heart completely and they reject me? We become afraid to express our true feeling and fears because we think our partner will start to distance him or herself from us. When, in actuality, the act of speaking the truth about our feelings is healing.
BPM: Did you learn anything personal from writing Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers?
I learned that it is very important to constantly work on your relationships. When we get comfortable in relationships, we stop paying attention to each other and/or doing the things we did in the beginning of the relationship to attract our partner. We get to a point where the conversations get stagnant, boring, routine and unimportant. We stop growing, learning, sharing and being curious about each other. In addition, when we are no longer mentally stimulated, we get bored with our partner and we seek stimulation outside of the relationship. You’ve got to always re-visit “why” you feel in love/like with your partner in the first place and respect your relationship enough so that you are excited about its growth and development.
BPM: Can you share some stories about people you met while researching this book?
I interviewed sixty men between the ages of thirty and sixty from different nationalities who lived in different states throughout North America. Some of the men were immigrants from other countries while the majority of them were born and raised in the United States. Twenty-one of the men were married. Seventeen of the men were divorced, and twenty-two were single and either dating, choosing to be celibate or focusing on things other than a relationship. Their professions range from Actor to Minister to Writer and almost any occupation in between.
BPM: How has writing this book impacted your life as a published author?
The biggest joy I get from writing this book is when I receive letters and emails from customers who shared their emotions with me after reading Men and Intimacy, Real talk. Real Answers. To know that I’ve touched the lives of women and men in a positive way reassures me that this is a much-needed book and conversation to be had.
BPM: What projects are you working on at the present?
I just published a deck of (In-to-me-see) Intimacy Cards, for couples, that allows them the opportunity to exchange open and intimate dialogue as they playfully discover or re-discover what you love about each other.
With each question, they are sharing their thoughts on intimacy as they discuss their wants, needs, and desires. This way of communicating is guaranteed to deepen their relationship and give them the opportunity to create an even stronger connection and an even better understanding of their partner.
BPM: How can readers discover more about you and your work?
www.menandintimacy.com
www.therezfleetwood.com
www.luxuryromanceconcierge.com
www.theintimateplayhouse.com
Purchase Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers by Therez Fleetwood
What Men really feel about Love, Relationships, Women, Sex and MORE!
Printed and Kindle versions: http://menandintimacy.com/order-now/
The Afrocentric Bride by Therez Fleetwood
Featuring the Therez Fleetwood Bridal Collection, THE AFROCENTRIC BRIDE offers valuable information, styling tips and fashion advice for every bride of color who wants to look and feel her best. Gowns, beads, fashions, headpieces, jewelry and more . . . Ms. Fleetwood creates her bridal collection with the African-American bride in mind.
In THE AFROCENTRIC BRIDE she shares her secrets on how to create an Afrocentric gown by using fabrics imported from Africa, adorning it with cowrie shells, embroidering and quilting it with natural colors and fibers, as well as wearing your favorite soft pastel shade or a wonderful vibrant red.
https://www.amazon.com/Afrocentric-Bride-Therez-Fleetwood/dp/0739440691/
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