How Being Broken Saved Me
by Angelia Vernon Menchan
This is my story and others are only mentioned to show how being broken saved me. I hear many stories of people who are unable to get past being black, poor, and fatherless, molested, maligned, ignored or abused. I experienced all of these things and I stand whole and able to share. It wasn’t easy and there were times when I was a bitter as quinine but I triumphed. This is something I wavered back and forth on doing for many years in my desire to protect people. For whatever reason or reasons, I am past that and am no longer ashamed of whence I came or how I overcame. My intent is not to judge or malign but to tell my truth as it happened and in doing so, I pray that God’s will is done.
Message from How Being Broken Saved Me
We all have stories to tell and mine are manifold. We all have histories and mine will be told.
I was born to a thirty-year-old single mother for a man who wasn’t interested in being my father. How did that shape me?
There were times when we were broke and the lights were off and mama cooked the noodles on a heater, how did that shape me?
I saw my mom hit by her man until her face was disfigured and he hit me when I tried to help her -and still she stayed. How did that shape me?
I was touched inappropriately as a child under the age of seven by a man my family loved and who was my godfather. How did that shape me?
Well, I am going to tell you and let you decide for yourselves.
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Excerpt from How Being Broken Saved Me
My Godfather was a MOLESTER!
That’s exactly what Blue was and what he did. He seduced us, all of us including our mothers who didn’t have permanent men in their lives. He seduced them by allowing us in his home and doing kind things like lighting fireplaces, cooking food and handing out money generously. He was a fat, laughing, generous, seducing child molester.
I recall an incident that is painted in my mind vividly in bright red colors. I must have been seven. It was the last year of his life and he was pretty much confined to the bed. He had diabetes, high blood pressure and a passel of other maladies, including a love of alcohol, and was pretty much bedridden. Ms. Eva, my godmother was working and I was outside in the backyard feeding the rabbits and the chickens. I know it was a weekday but not sure what day. Anyway, after I was done, I walked inside through the back door and then through the kitchen which led into his room. He and Ms. Eva slept in different rooms, go figure.
Anyway, I stopped dead in my tracks, a girl from the neighborhood who was probably ten to my seven was on the bed with him and naked. She was literally sitting on him with his private part inserted inside her and she was bouncing up and down, having actual sex. I had never seen the sex act so I stood in the door, mesmerized and transfixed, unable to move, watching with bitter bile gathering in my mouth. He tried to shoo me away but I couldn’t move. He had never gone beyond bouncing me on his clothed lap and placing his nasty tongue in my mouth but this was too much. After it was done, she climbed off the bed and grabbed her clothes and he handed her a ten-dollar bill and gave me two dollars. I know what her ten was for, mine was hush money, I suppose. She took my hand and led me through the kitchen to the back porch and the bathroom that was there. I watched her wash up and put on her clothes.
“Come on let’s go to Dairy Queen.” She said.
Dairy Queen was a about a block away and since I had two dollars I was glad to go. I am not sure where my sister was but she wasn’t there.
“Don’t tell anyone what you saw. Okay, nobody.” She said to me.
“Why, was it wrong?” She looked at me and I can still see her old eyes.
“Some people think so but Blue has money and I don’t and I am getting some of it. It ain’t a big deal. My sisters did it with him too. A lot of girls do and he gives us money. His thing isn’t that big, so it don’t even hurt. Besides I do it with boys for free.”
The look on my face must have been one of pure disgust. I was known even then for making faces.
“He’s not doing that to me. He kissed me in my mouth but he ain’t doing that!”
“He won’t do it to you because you are a soft girl. Your mama and them will be mad at him. He don’t think kissing is nothing but sex is and he knows who to fuck.”
My mouth flew open because she actually used the four-letter word and that was the first time I heard that word. I had heard my share of damns and hells but she went all the way. We got our ice cream, she went home, and I went back to Ms. Eva’s house. I was sipping on my pineapple milkshake and thinking of what my friend said. Ms. Eva was sitting on the porch with some of her friends.
“Girl where you get that milkshake from?”
“Blue bought it.” A funny look came over her face. “He gave me and XYZ money.” Oops.
“Go put it in the freezer. That is going to ruin your dinner.”
I took a few more huge sips as I walked slowly to the kitchen to do as I was told. I never saw that milkshake again though I looked.
( Continued... )
Purchase How Being Broken Saved Me by Angelia Vernon Menchan
Intimate Conversation with Angelia Vernon Menchan
Angelia Vernon Menchan is wife, mother, nana and mentor. Since January 2006, she has published 34 printed books and an additional 124 ebooks through her small publishing company, MAMM Productions. She is also the Co-founder of Honorable MENCHAN Media, through which she has published books for 15 authors to date.
Her personal motto is, ‘There is abundance through God for all of us; we simply have to be open for our blessings.'
In 2017 she decided to add her hallmark phrase “Just LOVE” to coffee mugs and tee-shirts. This phrase has taken on a life of its own! In addition, Angelia is a prolific public speaker and mentor to women of all ages. She resides in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband and cover designer, Maurice Menchan.
BPM: Was there anyone early in your career that recognized your talent and help cultivate it?
Initially I wasn’t sure but once I started blogging there were two authors specifically who encouraged me, Gwyneth Bolton and Shelia Goss. They read my books and blogs and featured me, encouraging others to embrace my work. Many felt me too literary at the time but these women encouraged me in the midst of that and I will always be grateful. Tee C. Royal and her RAWSISTAZ group was also a godsend. For me and others she was the gateway. Many cultivated it unknowingly because I watched, listened and learned.
BPM: How do you stay on top of your game professionally in the publishing industry?
I write consistently and am always working on my craft. More than anything I’m available to my readers. I make sure they are aware I take nothing for granted. Their support is a BLESSING. I have a core readership who read everything I write and for that there are no words. Writing careers wax and wane but I stay the course and am blessed to sell books every month.
BPM: Tell us about your most recent work. Available on Kindle?
How Being Broken Saved Me is a mini memoir. I actually completed it in 2013 but it took me five years to publish it. It tells of what I endured and persevered through. I was born to a single mother. That was atypical in that she was thirty and not a teen but there were challenging years. As a very small child I was touched inappropriately by my godfather and from age ten to eighteen I lived in a home fraught with weekend and alcohol induced violence from my stepfather, I was also rejected by my father’s family. In all that I managed to be an excellent student and work a job but my attitude was not good. I reveal to heal in this book by sharing all the broken times I was delivered from to become a sought after speaker and mentor and more importantly a forgiver and fully functioning WHOLE woman with no regrets.
BPM: Is there a specific place/space that you find inspiration in?
I love people and people watching. I can sit all day watching, listening and observing how humans act and interact. I’m also inspired by what people share, sometimes unknowingly. Also, young people with their honest transparency gives me life and keep me hopeful.
Nature is also very inspirational. I love trees, plants, rivers, beaches and all God created things. I can sit on a beach or under trees and create all day.
BPM: What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
I was finally telling the truth. The whole truth. I felt free. Interestingly it took me five years to publish it. I had a beta reader say it was too much... that stalled me.
BPM: How much planning goes into writing a book? How long does it take to complete one of your books?
It really depends on the story. Years ago I was in St. Maarten on vacation and the bus broke down. That became a book in my mind and two months later, Lost in St. Maarten was an Amazon bestseller. Others can take years due to the subject matter. I’m usually able to write fifty thousand words in about a month to six weeks.
BPM: Talk us through your experiences as a self-published author. Why did you go down this route?
Owning myself is paramount. I became an entrepreneur at twelve and never stopped. I needed to write real people in real time even if fiction. I cannot write to formula. Also, publishing myself has allowed me to publish fifteen others since 2012.
BPM: What advice would you give aspiring writers that would help them finish a project?
Write and write often. Also accept early on that not everyone will be a fan of your work. Find your niche and cater to it.
BPM: Was there an early experience where you learned that the written word had power?
When I read my first book at age four about a young girl whose family were sharecroppers. It changed my life. Her voice touched me. Nowadays my readers always say they learned something and felt something through reading my work. That’s POWERFUL. I call it mentoring through writing.
BPM: How has writing impacted your life?
Writing is LIFE. It is therapy and the one thing that’s all mine and me. No one writes like me. It has also led to other things such as speaking and a ministry I never envisioned. There is not a day that I breath that is not impacted by something I write or the reading of another’s writing. Writing is LIFE.
BPM: What does literary success look like to you?
Having readers enjoy, share and discuss my work. That sounds simple but it’s true. I have won awards been on amazon bestselling lists countless time but reader engagement is success. Especially when they wait impatiently for my next book. Nothing is like it. Nothing.
BPM: What are the 3 most effective tools for sharing your books with the world?
I have a virtual personal assistant and amazing reader and author friends who get the word out there. Social media and my daily voice is also helpful. My young people tell me they show up for me and then discover the books. That’s blessed.
BPM: Share some of your writing goals. What projects are you working on at the present?
I have been writing On Being Married for months. This is a request from many who have observed my almost forty years of marriage. It’s difficult though but I’m laboring through. At the writing of this I have two books in publishing. Fifteen Years and Deneisha: No More Soul Ties. Fifteen Years is being developed by Naleighna Kai someone I met early in my career. She’s a literary blessing.
BPM: How can readers discover more about you and your work?
Follow the #JustLOVE Hashtag
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